To Infinity and Beyond?

In a couple days...One of my deepest desires and dreams is coming true. May I be honest, with you? 

Will you judge me?  Perhaps this is the time that I finally stop worrying, and start talking. I think there may be a few of us out there.  Perhaps you will relate. Who is "us?"  We are the ones with deep, heart-aching dreams and desires pretending to live while hiding some of our most glorious truths.

I know, you think I am brave. I am not.

I haven't been since birth. Scared. Apprehensive. A late bloomer. Still am, and probably always will be.  Stories of how I was scared of strangers as a child still run rampant at the holiday dinner table. 

Today, I am in my normal state right before something big happens: conflicted, scared, and excited. 

I am diving into the unknown, and what is worse I have several other women that are joining me. I asked them to follow their heart, to be brave, and for no logical reason, except to be led by something bigger than themselves.  They are willfully joining me on a once-in-lifetime adventure half way around the world, in the middle of the Aegean Sea.  

Welcome to Greece. I did not think of logistics, reasonable expectations, or allow my head to start dragging my body around. Otherwise, this experience would never happen.  Still, all the questions ran through my brain. Tedious things like, travel times, ferrying to a remote island, language barriers, safety, terrorists, family stuff, blah blah blah ... 

Also there were those more first world, ego kind of questions such as what if no one wants to go, what if I invest all this time and effort and it’s a failure, what if I suck... Ugh, the list goes on.  

I pressed into my heart and my body. I chose every detail to be created out of fun and desire.  (Holy crap Christian friends, hold the door, she said the D word.) DESIRE? Is that flesh? Oh my. Fleshy, flesh, flesh. F-L-E - E- S -c S - H!  

Maybe?  Every part of my body and internal Holy Spirit longs for Greece, connecting with myself and other women. Greece is where the Goddess is and is highly favored. Since Goddess resonates with me and the current season of my life, that is where I will go.   

Why Goddess? Because I believe that God is in all of us. God looks not at male or female, but at that heart of a human.  My religion is love. And just because I am striving to embody the full feminine version of me, doesn’t mean that I don’t love men. I do.  

Right now, I simply want to transform into who I am created to be: a fully empowered female living and unraveling within a masculine driven culture. Struggling and muscling through life does not work for me anymore. Our "just do it" culture, feels inauthentic.  It is time that every woman, every Goddess, rises into the full glory of her eternal natural wisdom and beauty.  My desire is for every woman (and man) to be set free and for the truth to rise in all of us.  So that we can achieve a full integration of body, mind and spirit in every aspect of our lives. But first, we all must deconstruct a culture of lies and rise a culture of sisters.

Goddess Rising in Greece: Reclaiming Your Body, Business and Love Retreat is about to happen! 

Amen, Awoman, Peace out, Namaste ...and thank you for sending me big bold love as I drop into the unknown. 

 

With pleasure as a fully embodied woman,

Ally 

(By the way, I made these beautiful gift bags for all my Goddesses because it made me feel good. I love to honor and spoil people. There is room for all my love languages in my work. This feels right. So this is where I will start.)

Judgement, Chocolate, and Church

I have felt judged and I have judged. In business, at church, at dinner…it seems like judgement is inescapable. Oddly enough, I have noticed that people even judge acceptance. When I share that my husband races boats and goes 140 mph on the water, the pointed questions come:

Does it bother you that boat racing is dangerous? 

Yes.

Does it scare you that your husband races boats?

Sure.

How can you let him do that?

The audible voice says, “How could I not?” 

Then my daredevil man puts my son in the passenger seat of his new lightning fast boat, and runs through the race lights.  Yup, this happened.

Game changer, right?  *loud mama bear growl* 

Why does he have to love racing? Why can't he find something else?  Why can't he keep these risky passions away from our children?  

We let our kids jump off cliffs, drive cars, participate in potentially bone-breaking sports, snowboard, ski, ride motorcycles, swim in the ocean, ride horses...and explore relationships. They fail. They fall down. They get back up. 

We don’t deny our children these experiences because life IS risky. But, what is more risky, and far more dangerous, is denying our desires. What if I did prohibit my husband’s hobbies? What if I did prevent my children’s opportunities?

The man I love would be a shell of himself. As a result, I would be a shell of a woman, and probably not as attracted to him. Every one of our well-tended desires is worthy, without justification or alteration. Unconditional love supersedes judgment. So I let my husband race, and I let my kids adventure. 

Trying to force people into defending their enjoyment is asinine. It would be like saying, “why do you love chocolate?” I could come up with a hundred reasons why I love chocolate. I could even get a group of others to justify my passion for chocolate. Sure, an overwhelming appetite for chocolate could be unhealthy. But the reality is that I would still love chocolate. 

Why do I need to justify it? Why do we feel the innate need to explain ourselves?  Why should we? Each person has been designed as a one of kind expression.

The true hazard of every individual’s life is conforming to a pre-disposed stereotype and pre-ordained set of expectations. The peril here is real. When we ignore our desires, dissuade our passions, and direct ourselves toward the prescribed life that society has trained us to accept, the risk becomes fatal. 

When we are not engaged in active self-acceptance and fueled by the desires of our soul, we are stifled and unhappy. If I put on the disguise that tradition says I should, then I am wearing a straight- jacket while trying to traverse a chaotic obstacle course. 

I suppose this is why at places like conservative ladies luncheons or church functions, I often feel judged and excluded.  In my mind, and sometimes aloud, I hear the questions: 

Why don't you go to church more?

Why do you let your daughter wear that?

Where's your husband?

How are you cultivating a Christian family?

To these inquiries, I can only internally respond with the knowledge that Jesus’ entire life was an example of redemption. I have no cause for judgment. I have no place to selfishly expect others to modify themselves to comply with my fears or perceptions.  It is not within my time, at my will, or under my control.  It happened at the cross. It's done.

Love hard. Love every sinner, rule breaker, jdugers, adrenaline seeking men...and the women who love all of themselves. I am one of those women, willing to be judged and still willing to love.

Freedom lives in the full expression and acceptance of ourselves. The same acceptance Jesus had.

Alexis Asbe: wife, mother, best-selling author, serial entrepreneur, women's coach and business consultant. Find her @alexisasbe on Facebook; Instagram; Twitter.