Here’s a glimpse into how a typical conversation I have with myself goes some days…
I don’t want to write today.
But…I want to go outside.
No you don’t.
I want to work out.
That’s lame, you are just avoiding writing. Sit your ass down and just start.
That’s it, quiet your mind.
Come on, you’re NOT BREATHING right!
There are teenage girls in my hot tub screaming.
Do all teenage girls have to scream constantly?
The sound of squealing girls bugs the sh*t out of me.
Boys don’t squeal. (Insert guilt… comparing mom thought)
Start breathing again.
This is a very unattractive teenage girl quality. If I were a teenage boy, I would definitely avoid this and zone out on video games. (ahhh…a bit of revelation – I must be starting to breathe!)
- Why are they in my hot tub in the middle of the day, don’t they have a list of crap to do?
- Why does it sound like someone is being killed every 2 minutes?
After investigating if there is a possible murder and confirming that, in fact, one has died, I close the door to my office to buffer the screeching and find myself with a smile.
I realize that their squealing is JOY: countless emotions, thoughts and feelings, leaking out through their beautiful, hormone-ridden bodies, as if some one has taken a soda bottle and shaken it up and out through the top the bubbling soda sprays everywhere.
There is joy spraying everywhere.
God forbid it should spray all over my home, into my heart and infuse everyone with reckless effervescent ridiculous happiness… This would be just awful (yes, please sense the sarcasm).
I quickly realize that I want this joy and I’m glad they chose to share. So, my friends, I choose to share something that makes me pretty joyful myself: my favorite nighttime drink ritual! I promise There is no squealing, breathing, or murder involved.
Peace, love and CALM…
CALM: A Calcium and Magnesium Nighttime Cocktail
I love this stuff. I have a hard time sleeping generally, and since I am an “older” mom and have fatigue, I need more magnesium and calcium because I hear old chicks don’t get enough calcium. And since I’m a mother, naturally I have stress which causes magnesium deficiency (add to the list of hazards of working, exercising, and being a wife and mother). I originally heard of this natural CALM mix in Dr. Junger’s book, CLEAN when I was doing a detox—which, by the way, I highly recommend. And while we are on the subject of detoxing, it also makes you poop really big. (Yup, I said it and EVERYONE POOPS — read the book.)
Here’s the gist:
“Natural Calm is the solution to both restoring a healthy magnesium level and balancing your calcium intake—the result of which is natural stress relief.” You can read the long story here.
Apparently 80% of American men do not have healthy magnesium levels and 70% of us American women do not have healthy magnesium levels. So make you and your love a little nighttime cocktail. Most people drink it straight, as it doesn’t taste that bad, but I fancy it up a little… because you know I like it fancy!
What you need:
Stir 1–3 teaspoons of CALM into ice water until dissolved.
Add Liquid Gold and Stevia and stir until mixed well.
Serve and enjoy.
It helps relax you.
You may want a little action.
Add more Liquid Gold if you like more lemony – it’s good for you.
What’s playin’ in the background:
“Say Hello 2 Heaven” — Temple of the Dog
“Detox” — Sublime