Brave Love & Self Care

Episode 60: Brave Love & Self Care with Alexis Asbe

Would you ever treat an employee the way you treat yourself? Most of us are pretty rough on ourselves and we don’t take the time for self care because it feels like we have a million other things to do. Here’s the thing though, there is a very good reason why airlines tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting others. You are no help to anyone if you’re unconscious from lack of oxygen. The same thing applies to business and today you’ll hear from Alexis Asbe about the importance of self care and how to fit it into your busy schedule.

or access the episode here!

Jennifer Allen: A Brave Bride's Bikini Body

This challenge has helped to change my life. Learning to be truly honest with myself about my body and the condition it’s in was extremely powerful. It is not easy to admit fault or weaknesses within ourselves, especially when it comes to the food we choice to fuel our bodies with or our level of fitness. It takes conscious effort, patience and time to be honest with yourself about what you put into your body and how it affects you, but it is worth every minute of the struggle. Nothing about it was easy and every step was in fact a challenge, but I couldn’t be happier with the change in my body, mind and perspective. Following the individualized diet plan and eating healthier foods has given me more clarity in my mind than I ever thought it would. Through this clarity I I learned that I enjoy being healthier and more fit, it makes me happier in life. There were times when I was pushing my physical limits with the workout plans and thought I would give up, but I didn’t and the results were worth every drop of sweat and there was a lot of sweat. It is an amazing feeling to know that I challenged myself to be better and I succeeded. I think the most important thing I learned was that, just like everything else in life, there will always be struggles and obstacles to being healthy and fit but its about being honest with yourself about what they are and accepting the challenge to overcome them.

~Jennifer Allen (Soon to be Jennifer Fontana)

Are You Stuck?

Do you have days when you want to wear the outfit on the left and other days you would choose the dress on the right?

Do you struggle with making decisions when both choices appeal to different parts of you?

Do you like lots of different things but can’t decide which to choose?

Don’t panic, there are many of us that feel your pain and find ourselves stuck in the land of indecision!

When making decisions regarding your wedding ask yourself these questions:

  1. How do I feel in my body about this decision? (Here is a little tip: put your dominant hand on your navel, close your eyes and listen to/feel your body. Where may you feel tense or uncomfortable which the choice at hand?
  2. Do I love this _________ (dress, shoes, cake, location, etc.)?
  3. Can I live with this decision?

If you feel uncomfortable in any part of your body; stop, breathe and walk away. Take some time in silence and ask that part of your body, “what is going on?” Then listen to it! Your next two answers should be a big fat YES! If not, walk away!

Do not start freak out and start asking everyone else what they think. When you ask other people to give you their opinion, it is just their opinion and personal views. It may not be right for you. I repeat, it may not be right for you and they are not you! You are uniquely different. You are not ordinary in any way. You are special and there is no one exactly like you. Give yourself plenty of time and freedom to make decisions. Never choose one thing because you are afraid of the other. Rushing or being put under pressure from others only zaps your creative energy and can distract you from your true self awareness. If you need support, get some. Asking for support is completely different than asking someone else to make decisions. Your ideal support team sounds like this, “Listen to heart and do what you think is best.” Another good form of support from your posse, would be, “Trust your gut feeling.”

Give yourself some time to breathe, rest and feel at peace before you start looking again. Do not be in a hurry to make major decisions.

Here is a little shout out to all of you that are conflicted…(this is also a great suggestion for: health, life, work, “men” or just about anything you would need to make a decision about). You got this! Breathe, relax and repeat!

Peace, Love and My name is, “Conflicted” and I am addicted to supporting you.


Why Embarrassing Your Daughter and Grass Fed Burgers are Good Things

Why Embarrassing Your Kid is a Good Thing

When the proverbial sh*t hits the fan sometimes the best thing to do is nothing… then let said sh*t spew all over the land and let the smell linger for a while. Just as you start to get used to the smell and after your adrenaline, energy, creativity, depression, and ability to hear God starts to feel like TV static and mind-altering numbness, it’s time to escape and reset.

Exit Stage Left

My exit is far west into the middle of the pacific ocean, right into the furtherest land from any other continent. I call this magical land, Kauai. Being on this island is like being in a different country but with a USA security blanket. You see, I am not as brave as those who travel to third-world countries with a water bottle, backpack, passport, and a few bucks. I’m a mother, wife, and entrepreneur so unfortunately my control issues and trauma liability are at their asexual peak.

Mother Daughter Time

At twelve my favorite thing to do was hang out alone with just my mom. Alone time with Lety was rare and it was especially unusual if it was without my annoying younger brother and compliant Ya-Ya (term of endearment for Philippina nanny). I was curious about how to be a woman. I wanted to know what she did, how she did it, and where she went.

My memories of Lety time all to myself, thirty-something years later, are vivid. She was cool—way cooler than I am. She was brown, beautiful, unique, creative, brilliant…different than the other moms. She worked, she kept a second residence in San Francisco, wore stylish expensive suits, and people adored her. To me, this was not normal and it was annoying. Church people judged her and this embarrassed me. After all, I wanted a beige “Betty Crocker” kind of mom.

Therefore, aspiring to be the best beige…or err… “tan” mom in the world, whisking my teenage daughter off to my magical exit land for a little mother-daughter “womance” seems like a really good idea! We laughed, talked, slept in, played in the ocean, surfed, ate Bubba Burgers, shaved ice, ice cream, and maybe a Lava Flow or two.

By about Day 3 I began to feel human again. About day 3.5 I realized this was more valuable than I originally had imagined. You see, right now she does not think I am cool, beautiful, smart, or unique. Right now, to her I am annoying and any kind of womanly self expression is “sooooo like, stoooooooooppppp mommmmb!”

The Thing

She does not want me to dance, talk to strangers, wear a bikini (and why don’t I wear a t-shirt like other “good more Christian moms?”), sing, or get really excited about anything (yes, I was really excited about eating Bubba Burgers), or point out glorious beauty of almost anything or ask her what she is thinking. How  embarrassing that is to a young one. Flirting is absolutely out of the question with anyone ANY AGE. (Pfft!) Please keep in mind, my type is either 2 or over 60 years old, both of whom play now-you-see-me-now-you-don’t.

This “now-you-see-me-now-you-don’t” is the thing! You see, being unapologetically me: annoying, wearing an American Indian feather head dress or a bikini, seeing and engaging strangers, going on adventures is it. ME.

This is the thing she will remember!

The thing that will make her fearless.

The thing that will make her, HER!

The thing that will show her how to be a woman.

She may not listen to a thing I say and she can’t see me right now.

But she will and then she won’t. And then… she will see herself.

So here it is. We must show our children how to be alive. We must dance, sing, wear bikinis, work, not work, be whatever it is we wish to be. We must show how to express ourselves, how to figure it out when the sh*t hits the fan, how to be good to ourselves, how to get our groove on, how to love people, and how to not lose ourselves in the minefield that is raising a family.

How to be a glorious, abundant God-, life-, and burger-loving woman!
Here’s to all of my “sistas” wearing their metaphorical feather head dresses out there: BE BRAVE and BE YOU! Remember, WE are raising the future generation of warriors. Secretly, they want us all to themselves, as this is where they will eventually find themselves.

I’ll keep you posted on the next “I Shall Never Wear A T-Shirt Over My Bikini Anonymous” meeting and whether or not I eventually convert to the church of “Good Christian Mothers.”  For now, cook up some Bubba Wubba Burgers in your underwear.

Peace, love and Bubba Wubba Burgers…


Liquid Gold

Liquid Gold: super food lemon ginger cocktail

This simple recipe is a detoxifier, immunity powerhouse, assists in weight loss, an anti-
inflammatory, cancer fighter, anti-bacterial, virus killer and more.

I have had so many requests asking me to clarify the whys and quantities of this elixir I posted on Facebook sometime ago; I thought it would be helpful to run through it in detail. I have found that this really helps my family and I boost our immunity and stay healthy. Here is why:

Lemons: The Alkalizing Powerfood

Lemons are acidic to the taste, but are alkaline-forming in the body. In fact, they are one of the most alkaline-forming foods and this makes them great for balancing a highly acidic condition in the body. They are ridiculously good for you.

“We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.” –Alfred E. Newman

Lemon Highlights:

  • Alkalizing
  • Rich in vitamin C
  • Liver stimulant – God knows after the holidays my liver needs some love!
  • Cleans out waste
  • Used to treat Scurvy – for all you pirates out there.
  • Dissolves gallstones, calcium deposits and kidney stones
  • Helps to neutralize free radicals
  • Lemon peal contains phytonutrient effective in help brain disorders – like I need more.
  • Destroys intestinal worms
  • Antibacterial
  • Strengthens blood vessels
  • Contain 22 anti cancer compounds
  • Provides optimal cell energy
  • You can read more from this great article from Care2″ Make a Difference

Ginger: The Wonder Root

Ginger is spicy with many healing properties. My grandmother would put ginger on everything. She wrapped it with gauze to mend a sprained finger or sore throat or mince it into tea for stomach related relief. I did not know why back then but now know that ginger paired with love will keep us sassy.

Ginger Highlights

  • Combats excessive inflammation – when inflammation subsides the body can heal itself – Chronic inflammation causes diseases.
  • Relieves nausea – very effective for me when I had morning sickness.
  • Fights viruses
  • Anti cancer agent
  • Boosts immunity
  • Increases circulation and blood flow
  • If you want to fall more in love with Ginger read this from The Worlds Healthiest Foods:


Liquid Gold Recipe

You will need:

  1. Juicer – I have and recommend this Jack LaLanne Juicer because it is super easy to clean and affordable.
  2. 16 oz. jar with lid
  3. 4-6 whole lemons with peel
  4. 6-8 inches of ginger root – you do not need to peel
  5. Wash lemons and ginger thoroughly.
  6. Juice lemons and ginger in to jar and cover.
  7. Add 2-4 ounces of Liquid Gold mixture to water and enjoy.

Store in refrigerator for up to 3 days.


Add 2 pears or 2 apples, adds sweetness and cuts tartness and spiciness. (Apples and pears aid fluid and mucus reduction.)

Add liquid vitamin D – (Vitamin D plays role in strong bones, cell growth, immune function and reducing inflammation.) Find Out More.

Add oregano oil – (Oregano is used for respiratory tract disorders such as coughs, asthma, croup, and bronchitis. It is also used for gastrointestinal (GI) disorders such as heartburn and bloating. Other uses include treating menstrual cramps, rheumatoid arthritis, urinary tract disorders including urinary tract infections (UTIs), headaches and heart conditions.

The oil of oregano is taken by mouth for intestinal parasites, allergies, sinus pain, arthritis, cold and flu, swine flu, earaches and fatigue. It is applied to the skin for skin conditions including acne, athlete’s foot, oily skin, dandruff, canker sores, warts, ringworm, rosacea and psoriasis; as well as for insect and spider bites, gum disease, toothaches, muscle pain, and varicose veins. As from Webb MD. Find out more.

Add ice and blend with honey to taste for lemon/ginger slushy.

Add to sparling water with honey to make best soda ever.

Replace cranberry in basic “Cosmopolitan” recipe – See here


Self-care will change the world. #loveally

Love yourself well.